Silence in the Screams

There’s silence in the screams

If you can ignore it

Move past people’s woes

Not hearing it

Not acknowledging it

Not wanting to listen.

 

There is silence in the screams

If you want it

If you need it

If you close yourself off to the world

And close yourself in within your thoughts.

 

There is silence in the screams

If you yourself are screaming the loudest

And you don’t care

Not anymore

And you don’t listen

You’ve gone deaf to the world

To yourself.

 

Words don’t matter then.

Neither do the sounds.

You are silent then

And your thoughts are numb.

And the silence doesn’t matter either

Not anymore.

My Obsessions Make Me

There are two things I am *usually* obsessed with

Books or Book Characters. 

Either I am in too deep with my nose inside a book and devouring the words in a break neck speed or bitching and moaning about why a certain (or many certains) book characters are not real.

That’s it, really.

So this weekend I stepped out of the norm. I watched a K-Drama. And liked it. I am almost ashamed to admit this.

Lemme explain why.

During my preteen years (and yes, these were those years where I had not yet discovered that all my hyper squealing and hormonal swooning were annoying nor had I mastered the art of keeping it to a minimum. Come to think of it, I still haven’t discovered that art.) I loved watching K-Dramas. I fangirled over them and made little hearts in my notebook with Kim Beom’s name. Yup, I did. That was also when I thought Twilight was the shit. I was so clueless.

So basically ‘The Moon that Embraces the Sun’ was the first K-Drama I had watched in almost 4 years. I am not going to go for the plot details and stuff because Google can easily supply that. I just have to say this:

THE HERO WAS SO CUUUUUUUTTEEEEEE!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

*hyperventilates*

*hyperventilates again*

*squeals in delight*

So, yeah, I’m a mess right now.

Emotional blubbering hormonal mess.

There are just so many FEELS here.

And anybody who comes near me gets to hear about just how adorable every character was.

And how cute.

And I loved it.

And I don’t make sense.

And, so yeah, I AM obsessed.

And everybody knows it.

But nobody cares.

You know why?

Because I am ALWAYS obsessed and going on about one character or another or moaning about this or that. Only this time it ain’t about a book. But this isn’t a big deal for anyone else except me.

People just do not understand.

And right now I am going through the highs and lows of finishing a great series. The instantaneous giggling when particularly amusing flashbacks come to me. Or crying when I remember Lee Hwon crying. Or simply sitting back and thinking about the plot and realizing the emptiness of your life without that series anymore. And achieving nothing productive all day. Exactly like when you finish a great book series.

I always need something to be obsessed with, and I almost always have it. But now I think I should expand my obsessive horizons to K-Dramas again. Giggling preteens be damned.

Because my obsessions make me. And one can never have enough of staring at cute Korean dudes. Yes I AM a girl. Deal with it.

I will probably do a series review for this as soon as I am done collecting my Feels… Yep, it was THAT good! 

And yes, I know this does not make ANY sense. I am a crazy person. Gotta deal with it.

I Iz Back

I know I haven’t been the most dedicated of bloggers around here, and I am still unsure about how to proceed with the art of turning my thoughts to words for the World Wide Web, especially when real life tends to intrude in the process.

I almost died.

(Okay, THAT is an exaggeration but I did come down with something and they had to hospitalize me while pouring IV fluids down my system so maybe not THAT big an exaggeration.)

That was three months ago. I am fine now, mostly. (Some people say my brain is still addled but that’s neither here nor there.)

So after the recuperation I went underground for a long while, cut off from the society – virtual as well as real. I could have said that it was my time to rediscover myself by realizing my place in the grand scheme of the universe and to answer all the existential questions that plagued me on the hospital bed. But then again, I would be lying.

Let me tell you something. Law school can be a bitch – especially if you have been MIA for months. So every free time was gone burrowing into thick volumes of books about different philosophers going through their own existential crisis and deciding what they wanted to make the society like so that they wouldn’t feel so insubstantial. At least, most of them were about that.

So basically, I was cut off from the human communication, cut off from modern technology (unless it meant typing and printing my overdue reports and assignments) I got behind on, well, life.

(I did manage to find time to plow through my novel collection. Thank you insomnia.)

But the school year is over now, exams done and gone.  And I have another two weeks until school kick starts for the next academic year so there is time a-plenty for me to catch up to the blogosphere. And hopefully I will be not-busy enough to manage to stay.

So for now I hafta say:

Hello Internet.

I iz back!

Imitation of Love

Imitation of love
Is not a hard thing to do
Tender words
Tender touch
Can be shown
Unconnected to the heart

Imitation of love
Is not a hard thing to believe
When every smile is measured
And every word sugared

Imitation of love
Is a very hard thing to get over
For there are memories enough to last a lifetime
But worthless, meaningless
Like a thorn upon your heart
Pushing in, tearing it
And letting it bleed away
Until you see everything as it is
And you too learn how to imitate love
And not feel it anymore.

Drip Drop Blood

Drip

Drop

Blood

Drips

Down my wrist

To the crook of my elbow

As I hold it up

And stare

Stare at the wound that doesn’t hurt

 

Drip

Drop

Blood

Flows down my palm

To the tips of my fingers

Away from my skin

Drips from the wound that doesn’t hurt.

Drip
Drop
Blood

You don’t hurt

Not as much as the wound

That isn’t there

Burning Muse

Burning Muse

Lalala…. I had this entire post typed out with cool pictures and poems and whatnot but the stupid browser crashed on me so that is it.

This post was infinitely better the first time around. That being said, lemme get to my original point.

My book Burning Muse is free on Kindle till midnight tonight – January 11th.

There are better ways to advertise, but I am too lazy to follow through with them twice.

Happy reading!

Thorns

Thorns are pretty too

But maybe not as pretty as you

As you lie frozen upon death

Bleeding out

But my knife was not as big

As the thorn you stabbed my heart with